I always hear that self-pity does not get you anywhere. But every time I try to look at life a different way, I find myself at a loss for what to replace that self-pity with. I mean, what am I supposed to feel about myself INSTEAD of self pity? Am I supposed to imagine that I'm actually awesome? Replace self pity with self confidence? Sarcasm aside, I feel an enormous reluctance to believe any positive thing about myself simply out of fear of being mistaken. In my opinion, the only thing worse than feeling self pity is feeling self aggrandizing, particularly when it's unearned. I see so many people who just think they are the bee's knees, and honestly, I find myself disliking them even more than the self-pitying introverts I'm familiar with. As positive as a quality as self confidence is, to demonstrate it often makes me feel severely lacking in humility. And the last thing I would want to do is come off as someone so out of touch with anything that they don't even realize how lacking they are. That, to me, feels much more dangerous than self pity. I guess that's what it comes down to - self pity may be negative, but at least in doing so, I feel secure. Secure in the knowledge that I'm not over-estimating myself, not overstretching my limits, not biting off more than I can chew.
I know all the old adages - shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you'll land amongst the stars. Or it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Or one must not walk too carefully in life only to arrive safely at death. But frankly, those maxims seem hollow and contrived. Easy to make such a claim if you've already made the journey. When you look back and have some success to bolster you, courage is easier to come by. But when you have more failure than success behind you, you begin to think that you haven't been cautious enough.
How would you advise that I overcome this particular mental roadblock, Mister Fry?
How would you advise that I overcome this particular mental roadblock, Mister Fry?
